Attachment-Focused EMDR, or AF-EMDR, is a gentle, research-backed form of therapy that helps the brain reprocess painful memories and experiences — so they stop feeling as though they're still happening now.
Developed by Dr. Laurel Parnell, it builds on standard EMDR with a deeper focus on attachment: the early experiences of safety and connection that shape how we relate to ourselves and others. Bella is trained and certified in AF-EMDR through the Parnell Institute.
Many trauma therapies focus only on the memory. AF-EMDR recognizes that the meaning a memory carries — about who we are, whether we're safe, whether we're worthy of care — is shaped by the relationships around it.
Painful experiences can get 'stuck' in the nervous system, feeling as vivid and overwhelming as when they first happened. AF-EMDR helps the brain reprocess those memories so they settle into the past, where they belong.
Unlike standard EMDR, Attachment-Focused EMDR weaves in the relational piece — the early experiences of safety, attunement, and connection that shaped how you feel about yourself and others.
Before any memory work begins, we focus on resourcing — strengthening your ability to calm your nervous system, stay present, and feel grounded. You are never pushed past what you can hold.
AF-EMDR follows a clear sequence. You're always in control of the pace, and we never move toward memory work until you feel steady enough to approach it.
We talk through your story at a pace that feels right, identify the experiences that are still active, and build a foundation of resources and internal safety.
Together we choose a specific memory, image, or feeling to work with — something that still carries charge when you think of it now.
While you hold that memory in mind, we guide your attention with sets of bilateral stimulation — typically eye movements, gentle tapping, or tones. This is what helps the brain begin to reprocess.
Between sets, we pause and notice what's coming up. Over time the memory tends to lose its intensity, the body settles, and new, more adaptive meaning emerges naturally.
Every session ends with grounding, so you leave feeling resourced and present rather than raw. We check in about what felt useful before the next round.
You don't need a formal trauma diagnosis to benefit. If something from your past still feels present and unresolved — in your body, your thoughts, or your relationships — AF-EMDR may be a fit.
A free consultation is the easiest way to find out — we can talk through what you're carrying and whether this approach fits where you are right now.
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